College Mems S1 E6: Things I’m Learning

It’s just about that time of year. College choices. A variety of emotions accompany the word “college.” For some, it’s fear and doubt, others joy and high expectations. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, it’s okay. It’s okay to be unsure, and it’s also okay to have a plan set in stone. I’m about halfway through my second semester of college, and I still don’t have it all together. I’ve wanted to compile a list of things I’ve learned at college for a while, but the problem is I’m still learning. So here’s a list of things I’m learning.

  1. Resting. Rest sometimes seems impossible. There’s always more to study and more social events to attend. I’m learning the joy of power naps, and I’m also finding more and more value in sleeping more than seven hours a night. It’s perfectly acceptable to stay in the library until 2:00 AM a night or two every week. You will have late nights, and you will anxiously await the day you can sleep. You may find yourself awake for twenty hours of the day, and some days you may have classes for six to seven hours. Even so, you will soon realize you are not invincible. Rest is vital, and it’s not exactly optional. Choose your all nighters wisely.
  2. Failure. You’re going to fail. You may fail an exam or you may fail to meet the goals you’ve set. People will also fail you. Doubt often accompanies failure. Maybe you’ll doubt yourself, your major, your friends. It’s okay to doubt. It’s not okay to make impulsive decisions based on your doubt. Don’t change your major because of one failed quiz. It takes work, but you can recover. Don’t doubt someone’s appreciation for you because of something they say or do. It’s really easy to overanalyze and jump to conclusions. Everyone carries their own baggage, and sometimes their stress will be put on you. Finally, don’t doubt your ability. You are capable of overcoming even when it seems impossible. Drink some coffee, smile, and rise. (also you’ll probably end up drinking coffee if you didn’t before college. i didn’t think it could happen. it did.)
  3. Eating. There are so many different approaches to this topic. Some people have problems with remembering to eat, others have issues with making time to eat. Others eat enough, sometimes too much. Even others compare themselves to their peers and decide to stop eating. Eating healthy in college is hard. Keep produce in the fridge and bring sandwich bags and pack small snacks for busy days. If you find yourself struggling with an eating disorder, tell someone. Tell anyone. It could be a friend from home, a roommate, and often, the counselor’s office is pretty confidential when approaching these situations.
  4. Stress. You will be stressed! Duh. Your hair will fall out. Your body will be exhausted. Your mind will be torn in many directions. It’s important to remember to breathe. Focus on what you can do. Focus on the task at hand, not the task ahead. Pray. Get a hug. Take a walk. Take a shower and cry in the shower. Organize something. However, avoiding your task list because you’re overwhelmed isn’t going to do much for you. Write down everything you need to do and go down the list. Anyway, you’re going to get pretty good at managing stress. Good luck.
  5. Patience. I live with eight other girls in a suite originally designed for six people. The nine of us share two toilets, one shower, three sinks, one fridge, a microwave, and a toaster. We don’t have a common living area. Something I’ve learned is the importance of loving patiently. You may be the one to clean up after everyone. You may be the one to massage everyone’s feet and get rid of their headaches. You may be the last one to shower. Your food may not fit in the fridge. Your roommate may turn on the lights when you’re trying to nap. The room next door may keep you up an extra hour when they blast music at 1:00 AM. You may need to take care of the hairball resting on the floor of the shower. You may be the one to vacuum your room every. single. week. You may buy all the soap and cleaning supplies. You may need to listen to people. Patience. People deserve to be loved, and living with strangers is going to be challenging at first. If you need a rant, call someone back home. Love patiently.
  6. Community. I am so blessed to go to a school which values faith and openly advertises bible studies, chapels, and worship nights. Go. Get involved. Find a small group to meet with every week. Get to know the people on your floor. Don’t sit next to your roommate if you have classes together. Meet new people. Be bold. If you don’t, someday you’re going to come to the realization that everyone around you has already made their circles. It’s going to hit you hard. Everyone stresses getting involved. It’s so cliché. But it’s true. Start from the beginning, because it’s a whole lot harder to work up the courage halfway through second semester. Embrace community, and learn to be authentic and vulnerable with people. They may just become your lifelong friends.
  7. Love. Some people go to college and find the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. Some don’t. Some do during their senior year. Find peace with where you fall. If you do fall in love, yay. If you don’t, yay.
  8. Home. Your home will soon become your dorm room. Your dorm room will become your safe house, but you other days you will avoid it at all costs. Your family will miss you. Some friendships from home will last, others won’t. It happens. And it’s sad. But, you can be incredibly intentional about maintaining them. I love to ask how I can pray for my friends back home. It allows me to be in communication with them and remind them I care. When you come home for breaks, spend many moments with people you love. Also, when you come home for breaks, you’re going to want to go back to school immediately. When you come back to school after break, you’re going to want to go home. Some days, you won’t want to be in either place. That’s normal.
  9. Class. Go. To. Class. It’s important. You’re paying big money for this. Give your professor a reason to like you. Get those participation points. Appreciate the opportunity you have to learn. 8:00 AM’s aren’t cool. Neither are three hour long night classes. Either way, you need to go. Learning is neat, and often, your professors are actually really interesting people. Maybe the topic isn’t, but some profs will tell you about their personal life. Go to their office hours if you have questions. Try to get to know them as a person. My anatomy and phys prof used to be a Latvian Rhythmic Gymnast. Who knew.
  10. Faith. Your faith becomes up to you in college. It is up to you to make time for Jesus. It is up to you to find a church. It is up to you to watch sermons. It is up to you to find time to pray. It is up to you to find a community who will help you foster your faith. Take initiative. Run towards God. Go on prayer walks. Ask how you can pray for your roommates and friends. Find a few people you can have really deep theological conversations about. Keep a prayer journal. Jesus is the best thing you can run to in college. It’s also never to late for redemption. You will go through dry seasons, but run back to Him. He wants you and awaits you with open arms. Make goals of areas you want to grow in your faith. Set high expectations.
  11. Time. Time goes by so fast. I remember the day I moved in. I remember my first audition, my first class, my first chapel. Cherish these moments. Write down something happy each day. These years are going to fly by. Be present, and enjoy your crazy stay.

To all my anxious seniors, breathe. Whatever you end up choosing is going to enable you to learn. You will discover new things about yourself, and you will experience new things each day. Pray, but also know God will use you wherever you go. You’re allowed to be bold and ask for confirmation. Even after you get to school, it’s important to ask for God’s reaffirmation. Sometimes, His plans change. If there’s something on your heart, run towards it. It’s going to work out. So breathe, resist senioritis, enjoy your last days of gym class and bell schedules, take those AP tests, go to senior prom, and trust that it’s going to be okay.

xo.

 

 

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College Mems S1 E6: Things I’m Learning

College Mems S.1 E.5: Control

I like order. I like having organized drawers and folded laundry. I like when all my socks have a pair. I like when all my pencils are facing the same way. I like when all my shirts are hanging the same way. I like when all my dishes are clean at the same time. I like when my binders don’t have mess of papers stashed in the front pocket. I like when my trash can is empty. I like when the color of my notebook matches the color of my binder.

These preferences don’t result from OCD. I don’t think I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I think it’s a little more like Obsessive Control Disorder. I don’t necessarily feel overwhelmed because messes are present. Rather, I like to rid of disorder because I am overwhelmed in other areas of life. Cleaning and organizing are things I can control. I can control when I do my laundry, vacuum my room, sanitize my desk, make my bed, organize my drawers, etc. I like order, but I like order because I can control it. I like being in charge and feeling responsible. I like feeling accomplished and seeing the work of my hands. I like walking into an organized environment which I have created.

We all like control. When life gets out of control, we tend to wear a mask until it gets torn off our faces, revealing fear, sorrow, pain, anger, addictions, and insecurities beneath. I’m extremely guilty of this. I’m guilty of wearing a mask which tells the world “I’ve got it all together, look at me!” I’m guilty of typing “I’m okay,” feeling torn between wanting the recipient to believe me, but also wanting to be seen. I think some of it comes from not wanting to be a burden to others. Most of it, though, comes from a desire to be seen as strong, capable, and enough.

So right now, I’m going to be honest and tell you I’m just getting by. I’m physically exhausted. I’m emotionally drained. I’m spiritually fatigued. I’m mentally overwhelmed. Tuesday was one of the longest days I’ve had in a long time. I had two exams, two quizzes, and two papers due, a flute lesson, rehearsal, and a large load of work due for Wednesday. I also spent thirty minutes crying on the phone with a friend because of some news I received. I didn’t find time to pray or spend time reading my bible yesterday, and I haven’t in quite a while. I’m overwhelmed. Right now, my desk is sanitized, my laundry is all hanging the same way, the rest of my laundry is all folded (missing two socks), my dishes are done, my trash can is near empty, my floor is vacuumed, and every single drawer is organized. Even my mail drawer. After cleaning and organizing everything, I am yet again reminded I still have no control over life. Cleaning didn’t fix any of my circumstances. It just made everything appear in order.

Isn’t it crazy how fast God can intervene and remind us of our impotence? My friends, we are not in control this life. We do not tell the sun to rise or command the sea to be calm. And sometimes, it’s really hard to accept. It’s hard to accept we are weak, incapable, and living in chaos. In times of confusion, heavy burdens, and long days, it is crucial for us to give our concerns to the one who is in control. It helps to know that God is good (ps. 136:1). He is always good. It also helps to know He promises us His plans are the best plans. He intends to give us a hope and a future (jer. 29:11). Lastly, it helps to know you don’t have to walk alone. You are a child of a God who loves you and promises to go with you through deep waters (isa. 43:2). It’s easier said than done, but we don’t need to be overwhelmed, to fight for control, or to do it all by ourselves. Let go. His arms are open, and He is more than capable of carrying it all. Unlike humans and coping tactics, He doesn’t disappoint. He also loves you. A lot.

In all my years, I’ve never participated in Lent. Last year, I did a devotional each day during the forty days, but I didn’t give up anything aside from time. This year, I’m giving up instagram and snacking, and I’d love for you to keep me accountable for it. I also want to remind you that Lent isn’t a second opportunity for New Year’s Resolutions. It’s a time to create space for God to show up. By giving up things which are of great importance to us, we create room for Him and remind ourselves that He is more deserving than anything else. This year, I’m giving up and expecting to encounter God in new ways. I’m giving Him control over my circumstances and desires. I’m ready to let go.

xo.

College Mems S.1 E.5: Control

Born for Boldness

I’m pausing during a stressful night to ask you a question.

What would you do if you were more bold?

I stumbled upon this question while scrolling through my instagram feed, and I’ve been thinking about this question for the past month. I’ve been asking people this question for the last few weeks, and it’s been really interesting to hear their various answers.

Some answers were focused on others. Some said they would tell people when they’re wrong more often; someone said they would interject on behalf of those around them. Some said they would go to downtown Chicago and hand out food to the homeless in the area. Others mentioned making new friends and reaching out to others. A lot were relationship focused, like confessing love or leaving a detrimental relationship.

Some answers were concerned with taking risks and exploring curiosities. Things like skydiving or riding a rollercoaster. Others said they would ask more questions, whether they be addressed to professors or complete strangers.

A majority were focused on one’s inner self and their aspirations. Many told me they would speak up for themselves and share their opinions. They declared they wouldn’t let themselves be treated poorly anymore. Other desires, like changing majors, singing in front of people, and living in the city were explored. A few people said they would be less conscious of other people’s opinions and aim to live a freer life.

Lastly, a few people answered this question according to God’s purpose for them. Some aspired to pray for others more often and go overseas on a mission trip.

So now, I have another question for you:

What is holding you back?

Usually it’s fear. Why do we let fear have such a stronghold in our lives? When we allow fear to have power over our lives, we neglect God’s authority. When we fear, we are indirectly identifying areas where we don’t trust God’s plan and purpose.

I’ve been trying to rid of fear’s grasp on me. Sometimes, I’m a pretty fearful person. I’m afraid of losing people who are close to me; I’m afraid of failing. I’m afraid of disappointing people I love; I’m afraid I’m not doing a good enough job. I’m afraid people around me don’t know they’re loved; I’m afraid I could have done more. I’m afraid to trust people; I’m afraid to be honest. The list goes on and on, and I want to start replacing these fears with declarations. 

For instance, because I am trying to be more bold, I will notice and act upon the needs around me. Because I am trying to be more bold, I will ask to pray for people. Because I am trying to be more bold, I will stand up for people I care about, whether it be my roommates, my friends, or my peers with special needs. Because I am trying to be more bold, I will invite someone to bible study with me.

So this week, I want you to try to be bold. Make some declarations about how you want to be bold in the next few weeks. Do one bold thing this week. Bring up Jesus, invite someone to go to church with you, do something you’ve always wanted to do. Maybe it’s reaching out to someone you haven’t talked to in a long time, maybe it’s serving someone in a specific way. Maybe it’s being honest in some way, shape or form.

Let’s be bold. You were not born to have a spirit of timidity; your fears stop you from following God’s plan for your life. There is freedom found in the Father, and He will give you strength to take those risks. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy to be bold, but try to have some faith and take the first step.

xo.

 

Born for Boldness

“metamorphoō”

For the past two hours, I’ve looked at the verse below and started a post. I’ve erased everything and started again many, many times. I don’t know whether to write about God’s truth, my life, or just straight facts about this verse. I don’t know where I feel called to write. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, or what truth God is calling me to bring today.

However, I do know I want you to participate and help me write. I want you to leave comments below. I want to hear how God is working in your life; I want you to add on truth at the end. I want to create a community instead of a one sided conversation. I want to call you to participate. Be someone today. Tell me where you’re from, tell me something you need prayer for, tell me something you’ve been thinking about, tell me somewhere you’re struggling, tell me something you’re grateful for, tell me your thoughts on whatever God speaks through me today. Please, participate. Don’t just watch life go by.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

We are called to be in the world but not of the world. We are called to be lights in this dark and broken world. Bright lights don’t need spotlights when they are immersed in darkness.

Be the light. Be different. Be bold. Be strong. Obtain a kingdom mindset. Have urgency. Because we have the luxury of living in modern America, our sense of urgency as diminished, if not disappeared completely. Heaven is real, Hell is real, Jesus is real. Shouldn’t we be more concerned about the lost and searching souls around us? Where is our urgency and compassion? Where is our value for life and desire to point those around us to our Redeemer?

“Be transformed.” He wants to take our brokenness, our pain, our shortcomings, and make them new. The word transformed in this passage comes from the Greek root “metamorphoō,” which sounds extremely close to the word metamorphosis. As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, it obtains a new perspective and grows in its abilities. The caterpillar isn’t even aware of the life of a butterfly. It can’t understand what it’s like to fly or to taste sweet nectar.

God wants to take our simple and flawed life and lead us into a life with Him. A life With God is so much more fulfilling, so much more real, and so much more exciting. A life With God brings you joy and hope. A life With God is absolutely sweet and desirable. A life With God is His will for all of us.

And my friends, God’s will is perfect. He has a plan specifically for you, simply because He loves you. 

He loves you at your worst, your best, your seeking, your hiding. There is no shame when you approach the father. Bring your burdens, bring your honesty, bring your desire for a transformation.

Transformations take time. They can be lonely and confusing. During transformations, you may feel as though you are groping in the darkness. Friends, keep seeking. Seek harder and harder. Return to times where you felt close with God and begin to do the things which brought you to the high you remember. Invite other people into your thoughts and challenges. Be vulnerable.

Even a life With God is going to be challenging. He will constantly grow you and mold you according to His plans for you. He is the potter, and you are the clay. Surrender to your perfect maker and trust His perfect plans. His perfect plans will enable you to “test and approve what God’s will is.” These plans only deepen our relationship with Him.

Remember, God is using you. He is transforming you. He will not give up on you. Do not give up on Him. His plans are greater, and we will grow the most when we are uncomfortable. He intentionally brings you to your knees through trials. He wants you, He loves you, He wants you to want Him. 

Want Him. Seek Him. Trust Him today. 

 

Today’s appreciation post goes to my dear cat lady. OH Melinda, you always make me laugh, and you have such a heart for others. Thank you for finding time amid confusion and chaos to have deep and vulnerable talks about uncomfortable and hard topics. Thank you for your love and the joy you bring with you. Thank you for demonstrating your cats’ incredible talents, and thank you for never leaving me alone. Thank you for sometimes being vegan and encouraging the cafeteria to get soy and almond milk. I support your stance completely. In all seriousness, you are an absolutely lovely human. I love doing life with you, and I can’t wait to see you in person in twoish weeks. You are such a blessing to me. (go follow her blog here!)

“metamorphoō”

College Mems S1 E4: the cadaver

 

**warning. description of a cadaver set up. viewer discretion advised.**

To walk into a room and see human bodies on a table is absolutely humbling. It’s unforgettable; it’s a little appalling. It is human. My eyes wandered to the paper lying superior to his skull. “Thomas, 81, Vice President, Stroke Victim.” A recognizable mass of muscles, nerves, bones, and connective tissue was halfway covered by a thin, yellowed sheet. We looked at the nerves and identified the muscles. Then she took off the minimal washcloth, exposing his face. Only then did I feel nauseous. It set in. This was a man, laying out on the table. These bones represented a life. His skull was cut so the brain was easily accessible. We passed it around, noting its irregular consistency. Here originated all of his thoughts, dreams, aspirations. His personality, all his stored memories, the sights, smells, and tastes he experienced – all of it – lay sitting in our hands. Next was a woman. She was 74 and died of lung cancer. We passed around her lungs, which were far from firm and covered in black spots. A tumor of some sort lay in her liver, and globules of fat attached to many of her visceral organs. She had only one kidney and was a transplant recipient. Her hair was curly and brown. Another man had a knee replacement surgery, and we were able to see the metal parts inserted by lifting up his flesh. All three of these humans lay on separate tables, skin removed,  just bodies.

Physically, they were all incredibly unattractive. Tendons were stringy and muscles were brown. In some cases, fat particles covered many parts of the body. In each case, the bodies had no skin. From a first year student’s perspective, races were undistinguishable. There was no white, no black, no yellow, no red, no olive, no freckles, no pale, no tan, no burns, no scars. None was better than the other. None seemed superior. The woman who had lipids attached to her organs? She was no better than the other ones. The man who seemed physically fit? He was just as human as the other bodies in the room. They were bodies. Height, race, eye color, weight, abilities, etc., were not accounted for. Simply, they were human.

Today, I didn’t learn new muscles or nerves. I didn’t learn how to overcome the smell or how to prepare for a lab. I didn’t learn those things. Instead, I relearned the value of a human life. Each body represented a life. Their lives contained identities like brother, sister, mom, dad, aunt, friend, grandfather, etc. Maybe other titles too, like musician or athlete. These humans had dreams and lived lives. They had jobs, and they grew up somewhere. Maybe they had kids. Maybe they changed their major three times. Maybe they went on a mission trip. Maybe they spent many days feeling worthless or alone. Maybe they were the person to make everyone else laugh. Maybe they were really good at physics. Everyone has a story of some sort. The papers above their heads gave their name, age, occupation, and reason for passing. These were once humans.

Sometimes, I think we forget we are all human. We are all made of the same things deep down. We are all broken; we are all sinful. We’re not better than anyone because of the color of our skin or the number staring back up at us from the scale. You are not better than anyone else. You are not less than anyone else. You are you. You are a human. Everyone around you is a human. Love these humans. When it comes down to it, we are solely intricate creations of muscles and bones and tendons and neurons and nerves and organs in desperate need of a Savior. Love the humans around you and adapt a perspective of humility and awe as you watch life progress.

xo.

College Mems S1 E4: the cadaver

“People are kinda like burritos..”

I don’t think I’ve ever really passionately sought after love or a relationship. I’ve never felt the need to be holding hands. I’ve never longed to post a photo with the tag #nationalboyfriendday. Love has never been something my heart has idolized. I see people around me in relationships and I often think to myself why? why would you waste your time on something which probably won’t last? why give up parts of yourself? why make this big of a decision when you are still young? Even so, I find myself on the complete other side of the spectrum. I’m just the same as you; I want to do the cute things and go on dates and scream-sing songs at each other. I want to feel safe and laugh and love and live. I want to go on picnics and go on mission trips and long road trips and volunteer together. I hate it. I have such a perfect picture painted in my mind.

As I came home the other weekend, I realized it’s not exactly something I need – it’s only something I want, though maybe I’m not ready to enter into it. Since I’ve returned home, I’ve really realized how much being away has changed me. I came home and wondered why I made some of the decisions I’ve made. I read old journals and laughed. I’ve grown in so many ways. In how many more ways will I grow these next few weeks, months, years? How will I grow in my education, my personality, my faith? As I feel empty, I remind myself there is more to come. Currently, I am learning to seek God’s acceptance instead of man’s and rest in His unfailing love. Only His love can satisfy my searching soul.

So today, I want to remind you of what you are worthy of when it comes to relationships. I want to remind you to overlook the burrito shell and discover important inside qualities. However, I’m probably incredibly unqualified to be writing this list. Simply, these are opinions, and I don’t intend to set unrealistic expectations. This has just been on my heart lately, so here we go.

First and most importantly, you are worthy of someone who loves God, someone who lives their faith, and someone who encourages you to follow. Do not compromise this. You are worthy of someone who is able to politely call you out on areas you need to improve. You are worthy of someone who is committed to praying for you, reminding you to read your Bible, and building a relationship on God. You are worthy of someone who has as strong of a passion for Jesus as you do. However, humans are not perfect, but even so, find someone who strives to be like Jesus and encourages you to do the same. Men, you are worthy of a Proverbs 31 woman, who is submissive, hardworking, joyful, wise, and fearing of the Lord. Ladies, you are worthy of a man like Noah, who was righteous, humble, obedient, and faithful.

You are worthy of someone who respects you. You are worthy of someone who sees you as a human and nothing less. You are worthy of someone who is polite to waiters when they get the order wrong; you are worthy of someone who respects the boundaries you lay out. You are worthy of someone who sees people as humans regardless of their physical appearances and abilities. Ladies, you are worthy of a man who will open the door for you and see you more than a means of sex. Men, you are worthy of a woman who will intentionally dress modestly and allow you to feel.

You are worthy of someone who is committed to loving you. You are worthy of being pursued. You are worthy of someone who is patient and understanding; someone who is able to unpack your burdens with you and love you despite your shortcomings. You are worthy of coming home to flowers or your favorite meal. You are worthy of someone who takes time to learn your love language. Men, you are worthy of a woman who will take care of you when you’re sick and who will affirm you. Ladies, you are worthy of a man who will listen when you’re emotional and who will also affirm you.

You are worthy of someone who will make you feel safe. You are worthy of being yourself, your quirks and all, and not fearing judgement or ridicule. You are worthy of feeling safe around this person to state how you feel. You are worthy of feeling emotionally and physically safe. You are worthy of someone who you can sing incredibly off-key with. Ladies, you are worthy of a man who is willing to protect you and who enables you to speak your mind. Men, you are worthy of a woman who will enable you to thoroughly feel without being afraid of being perceived as weak or pathetic.

You are worthy of someone who is willing to actively serve you and the people around you. You are worthy of someone who realizes your needs and makes at least an effort to love you. You are worthy of someone who puts your needs in front of their own; someone who will serve alongside you overseas, at FMSC, in your community. You are worthy of someone who is willing to serve your family. In each instance, means of serving one another will differ, but your weakness should be covered by their strengths, their weaknesses by your strengths. You are worthy of someone who will wash your feet and sacrifice for you. Men, you are worthy of a woman who will see your needs and strive to meet them. Ladies, you are worthy of a man who will see your needs and strive to meet them.

You are worthy of someone who values purity. You are worthy of someone who values you as a human before they value you as means of pleasure. Ladies, you are worthy of a man who will chase you for your heart and personality rather than your body. Men, you are worthy of a woman who will support you in moments of temptation and encourage you to be accountable. (excuse the stereotypes here if you are offended in any way, because I know it goes both ways)

You are worthy of someone who refuses to see dating or marriage as answer. You are worthy of someone who doesn’t see dating or marriage as a means to happiness. You are worthy of someone who finds joy in the Lord and values you as a brother or sister in Christ. Men, you are worthy of a woman who doesn’t seek you to combat loneliness or unwholesome desires. Ladies, you are worth of a man who doesn’t seek you to fulfill motives of status or solely fulfill lustful thoughts.

You are worthy of someone who is willing to be the best parent they can be if it is what your hearts collectively desire. You are worthy of someone who is willing to sacrifice everything for their children. You are worthy of someone who will love your child, regardless of the gender, special needs, appearance, or abilities. You are worthy of someone who can work with you to create a practical parenting approach. You are worthy of someone who will value family. You are worthy of someone who will work hard for your family. Ladies, you are worthy of a man who will carefully throw your children in the air, carry them when they fall asleep in public, tickle and playfully wrestle them, evoke contagious giggles, and reprimand them kindly and appropriately. Men, you are worthy of a woman who will lovingly embrace your children, be patient with them, affirm their talents, nurture them, educate them, and encourage them to adopt admirable behaviors.

You are worthy of someone who is committed and diligent. You are worthy of someone who makes you a priority and makes an effort to uniquely love you. As humans, we tend to have five different love languages – words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. Each lend themselves in different ways in any relationship. However, as we are created uniquely, we value some over others. If you value words of affirmation, you are worthy of someone who will encourage you often and well. If you value physical touch, you are worthy of someone who will play with your hair and give you good hugs. If you value quality time, you are worthy of someone who will go the extra mile(s) to see you and simply “be” with you. If you value gifts, you are worthy of someone who takes time to find the right one for you; you are worthy of coming home to flowers or whatever your equivalent might be. If you value acts of service, you are worthy of someone who actively commits to serving in you in personalized ways, putting your needs above their own. You are worthy of someone who is committed to you because you are you. You are worthy of communication and having someone who will love you intentionally and personally. Men, you are worthy of a woman who will love you faithfully and individually. Ladies, you are worthy of a man who will love you faithfully and individually.

You are worthy of someone who can make you laugh; someone who has the ability to bring out the best side of you. Ladies, you are worthy of a man who has an endless of array of dad jokes and can make you smile on the longest days. Men, you are worthy of a woman who will learn your sense of humor and kindly poke fun with you.

People are kinda like burritos. Sometimes, we only look on the outside, but really, the inside is what matters the most. Above all, you are worthy of someone who loves God. I’m positive there are other vital qualities in relationships. These are all qualities you are worthy of, and as we expect these to be present, we must present them ourselves. No human is perfect, and neither are you. Of all these points, the first is the most important – find someone who loves God. Please. It changes everything. Remember you are still growing and changing as a person. You still have a life to live, and you’re going to learn things along the way. I encourage you to keep your standards high for both yourself and your significant other. Find someone who will willingly love all of you, and someone who you can have mutual trust with. Don’t simply love someone back or settle for them because they claim to love you. Honor God in your decisions.

Today’s appreciation post goes to someone who has proven to act as the calm in my storms. This is someone who continually points me to God; this someone who seeks God themselves. This is someone who has impacted my life in this past year; this is someone who is intelligent and musically gifted. This is someone who is generous; this is someone who serves often. This is someone who isn’t perfect and is willing to accept it. This is someone who makes me feel safe. This is someone who encourages me to remain in God; this is someone who makes me laugh. This is someone who validates my feelings; this is someone I trust. This is someone who won’t throw away his shot; this is someone who ain’t afraid of no ghost. Thank you for your patience, generosity, trust, and the happiness you bring me. That’s crazy.

xo.

“People are kinda like burritos..”